We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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