I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
