Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from