My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.