Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The uberlube is also flammable
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
