I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
