thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
