I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's Friday. Sex?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
