Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
