Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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