I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
