Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
