i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
