so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
