I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
