so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
