Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
