Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
