I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
