i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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