Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
