I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
