It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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