Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
