i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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