PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
