mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
