Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
