summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
