I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
