My sheets look like a crime scene.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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