Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
