I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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