nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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