I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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