btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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