Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
