"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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