Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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