Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
