So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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