I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
