covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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