Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
