"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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