Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We need to get me chipped asap
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
