he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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