Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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