Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
