she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
