we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
