Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I want to make a zoo with you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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