So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
love makes seman taste better
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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