i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
