the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
