im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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