Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
