There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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