I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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