Me too!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
