Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
