exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
