SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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