Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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