She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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