You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize