weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
