I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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