My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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